Where it all begins

I’ve found that most of the time it’s the little things that make a difference in a marriage. But when no-one gives us any helpful tips, we blokes learn from and react to what we see and experience in the home and community in which we grow up. In lots of cases, we are exposed to painful and undeserved things in childhood that influence us as well.

I used to train horses (pacers), and we’d look at the pedigree to predict what a horse would be like. Well, fellas, us blokes would also do well to have a look at our pedigree. What was your sire like? What was your dam like? It’s in your ‘jeans’!

Champion, what sort of home did you grow up in? Sometimes we’ve been shown a good example, but because of stuff that’s happening to us, we don’t see it and learn the best things from it. 

We don’t have to live in the past, but lots of times, past things need to be dealt with – like I had to do. We can learn from those things. If it doesn’t kill us, then we may come to a day when we can make good out of it.

Sometimes we get shown a bad example, and we need to learn a new way of doing things.

And if you’re looking at the girl who lights up your heart maybe the same questions should be asked of her so you can sort this out before you get too far down the love road. What sort of home did she grow up in?

Have a good think about what example you are both following. Then you can keep your guard up against potential problems, so you won’t be derailed.